What's Your Sign?

They're home! Lane and Amanda got here in the middle of the night and we get to have them for ten whole days. At least, we kinda get to have them.

They arrived waving a DO NOT DISTURB sign they'd pilfered from the hotel they stayed in on their way here. Starr Ann and I fixed up a little food and as soon as that was eaten, those two disappeared upstairs. I went up there to see about sheets and pillows, but apparently they'd found their own, because their door was shut and that sign dangled gayly from the doorknob.

I told Starr Ann, "Guess we might not see much of those two the first day."

Starr Ann thought for a second, and said, "We better have food ready for when they crawl out."

"Dang, you're so right."

The first Lane/Amanda sighting was about three hours later. Good thing about the food. They went through half a gallon of milk, a third of a yellow cake with maple icing, and the very last of our chocolate chip cookie dough.

When they drifted back to the room, Starr Ann said, "Hmmm, next time down they're gonna need salty stuff."

Jodie let herself in the front door and came walking in right about then. She laughed real happy when we told her what was going on. Then she went upstairs for something and came back down laughing even harder. "Did you see the sign those two have taped to their bedroom door?"

Starr Ann said, "Yeah, DO NOT DISTURB. Cute."

"Oh, no, that's what they have hanging from the doorknob. Taped to the actual door, there's a sign that says GIRL ON GIRL ZONE - KEEP OUT."

We had to run up and take a look. It was on white sheets of typing paper, written in cornflower blue and forest green crayon. Real pretty.

So before the hour was out, here come Lane and Amanda streaking back down to the kitchen. And yep, Starr Ann was correct, it was salt they were after. Took them about 30 minutes to polish off a big bag of potato chips, two grilled cheese sandwiches apiece, and a huge pot of leftover onion soup.

The whole rest of the day went just about like that until finally, after we all finished a big supper together, they retired for the night. Jodie, Starr Ann and I sneaked upstairs later to have a look at their final sign and had to crack up. The outside of the door was criss-crossed from top to bottom with bright yellow police-type tape that read CAUTION: CRIMES AGAINST NATURE.

Jodie examined the elaborate web stretched back and forth across the doorframe, and said, "Now how in the world did they manage that from inside the room?"

Starr Ann just cocked her head that one way and said, "Window."

Anyway, Lane and Amanda are home! Yay.

Simple Pleasures or Who Needs Ambien?

Starr Ann just loves to color. Always has. Coloring puts Starr Ann in this real mellow state that makes her eyes all soft, and her voice lilts very gently while she makes up the nicest stories about whatever picture she's working on. To me, it always feels like being right inside Starr Ann's mind as she meditates.

I was telling Jodie about that a few weeks ago and I guess she took note, because last night after supper she came barreling through the door with three jumbo coloring books, a 120 pack of crayolas, and a fifth of Wild Turkey 101, saying, "Clear off that kitchen table, ladies, and prepare to put your adult selves on hold."

Jodie said she made sure to get three books that were alike, so we could all be working on the same picture at one time. Very cool, Starr Ann and I thought. So we got down three glasses and took turns throwing back shots of the Wild Turkey.

Starr Ann took her time picking out the first drawing. Finally, she turned her page outward for us to see and said, "How about starting out simple on this plain house with the flowers out front?"

Jodie and I turned to the correct page. I started on the grass, because grass doesn't call for any huge decisions right away. I always go with regular green. Jodie, I could see, began with the sky. Personally, I think the blue she chose was a bit much, but that was none of my business. Starr Ann went right to work on the house itself. As the liquor hit bottom, we all fell into the nicest back and forth cadence. Really soothing.

In her soft coloring-book voice Starr Ann said, "Cozy house. Safe looking. Wonder how many people went homeless today."

It didn't call for an answer, and after a while, when Jodie had moved down from the sky and was making her house brick red, she mentioned how it reminded her of a villa she had stayed at with friends in Spain years ago. She said she wondered how those people felt about Americans right now, and if they had her grouped in with the horrible acts our country is party to these days.

My grass was totally green and I was making some buttercups yellow. I said, "Ever think about how much sexual behavior goes on in a garden? I mean, pollination, nothing but a sex act."

Jodie and Starr Ann looked at each other and they each raised both eyebrows at the same second.

Next time, it was my turn to choose what we colored. I found a great kitten-with-ball-of-yarn scene that looked fun. We took another shot and got started.

This time, a little ways on, Starr Ann said, "No telling what happens to the pets when a family loses their home."

Jodie said a day doesn't go by that she doesn't spare a thought for the animals caught amidst all our human destruction.

I think I remarked on how soft and warm and sweet pussycats are.

A theme was definitely emerging.

Before doing the final picture of the night we thought it would be a capital idea to have double shots. Very tingly.

Jodie chose her picture and quite deliberately, but with flare, then she reached over to each our books and opened to the proper page for us. We could have done it. I think.

They were working on theirs already by the time I remembered I needed to check out the picture before choosing my crayon. But the colors were so beautiful all of a sudden. Anyway, when I did look down at my book, I got a tiny surprise.

I said, "We should have been working in this section all along, you all. Dang, this lady straddling this...what is it, a Hitachi Magic Wand? A Purple Penetrator?"

Starr Ann and Jodie did their simultaneous eyebrow thing again. I remember thinking how we really must be lesbians with a capital L, super lesbians, because there had been a total of eight eyebrow raises within the past hour.

Starr Ann snatched my coloring book and took a look. "Margo, that isn't a lady straddling anything. That's the same thing Jodie and I have - a cloud formation above a shuttle launch. Then she turned my book sideways and her eyes got wide. Jodie turned hers that way too and her eyes got wide. I put mine back at the lady angle and we all colored them that way.

All in all, a great night. But look what I found for the next time. I ordered three.