My best friend Starr Ann came right up to me this morning and said, "Do you remember in fourth grade, when you and I got in big trouble for taking turns doing each other's homework?"
I laughed and said sure I did.
"Well, that never happened, Margo."
Starr Ann had that one look on her face. The one where you know all you have to do is wait, and a reasonable explanation is bound to come spilling out of her. But nothing came spilling out. She just tapped my shoulder, real satisfied, and walked into the other room.
I'd love to be able to report that I'm so cool I was able to keep from following her and asking what she meant by that. But of course, I'm not made that way.
When I caught up to her in the mud room, where she was pulling on her muck boots, I said, "You gonna explain why all of a sudden we didn't get in trouble for our homework scam?"
"What homework scam?"
I rubbed my temples. "Our fourth grade homework scam."
Starr Ann did that fond distant memory smile. "Oh, yeah, that one worked for us a good long time before Sister Blissie Marie finally caught on and made us do double homework for two weeks. I thought that was harsh, didn't you?"
"You're being weird, even for you, Starr Ann. Tell me why you just now went out of your way to say we never got punished for that."
"But we did."
"But you said we didn't."
"No I didn't."
"What?"
Everybody confused yet? Well, that was exactly Starr Ann's point. I finally dragged it out of her. She'd just read an article in The Independent about some negation UK's Ministry of Defence is trying to pull concerning the Iraq War. It's sickening stuff, and Starr Ann was just trying on the pejorative powers of revisionist history.
Seems UK's MoD is behind a lesson plan drawn up to teach kids about the war. Please read the article for yourself. I'll just say here that the lesson plan "makes no mention of any civilian casualties as a result of the war," "stresses the 'reconstruction' of Iraq," and talks about how the "invasion was necessary to allow the opportunity to remove Saddam Hussein, but it fails to mention the lack of United Nations backing for the war." And then there's the disturbing detail that Student Worksheet "notes also use the American spelling of 'program.'" That last part gets each and every one of Starr Ann's conspiracy theorist cells firing.
Anyway, if you know anything about Starr Ann at all, you know she's a true believer in doing unto the government as the government is trying its best to do unto her. So, she's exploring the life-changing possibilities of revising things to her liking.
For example, on our way to Jodie's house to tell her about this development, Starr Ann substantially negated a bunch of our tax obligation for last year. Good thing we don't usually file until the last minute, or we coulda just gone ahead and paid "the old way," as Starr Ann puts it. We've decided on a few other changes, too, but in line with an earlier lesson Starr Ann learned right from the government, we're not disclosing those. In fact, we have no recollection of any conversations pertaining to any historical revisions.
