So Jodie, Starr Ann and I went out to this bar called Anytimes to play pool a few nights ago. You know how when it isn't your turn to shoot you start paying attention to what's going on at the other tables? Well, at the table next to us, this woman was playing rings around this real cute guy. She had him behind the eight ball most of the time, but they seemed to be having a real good time. Too bad the manager had to all of a sudden get suspicious about the cute guy's age and toss him out.
Yep. You can see that whole part of the story here.
Anyway, at first the little guy seemed kinda pathetic just hanging around outside the entrance.
We were feeling real bad for him. Until we spotted him scopin' out a way to sneak back in.
He lurked there near what he later referred to as a "security weakness" until nobody was looking, and then he booked so fast his hoodie blew back.
Well, everybody knows how much Starr Ann admires a stealthy move that's not meant to hurt anybody. You should have seen that girl's face! Her eyes got all wide and she touched Jodie's arm, saying, "Can you and Margo hang together the rest of the night? I know a kindred spirit when I see one."
Turns out his name is Muffin, Cross-Dressin' Bear O'Mystery. We partied with Muffin until he'd played every song that old jukebox had.
He came home with us and got naked.
After his bath, Muffin was still full of energy and said since it was starting to get light out, we might as well stay up and show him some more Louisville sights, like Churchill Downs.
Jodie warned him Churchill Downs was closed this time of year, but he and Starr Ann gave each other that one look, the one that says 'closed' is a matter of perception.
After checking for what he called "fence weaknesses,"
Muffin finally had to admit that Churchill Downs has locks coming out the wahzoo.
Right when they were about to give up, Muffin and Starr Ann spotted it at the same time - a fence weakness big enough to trot a cross dressin' bear o'mystery through. It was just a matter of popping in...
getting a running start...
scaling one curb...
and voilà! Muffin's on the racetrack.
And in the stable area.
And goofin' around over by the jock's room.
When it finally came time to head for home, Muffin found out breaking out can be as hard as breaking in.