Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Starr Ann Eloped Last Night - And It Wasn't With Jodie

My best friend Starr Ann (bye, Starr Ann) did not come quietly into my room last night. No, but I did hear an odd noise and went to her room to check it out. There she was, about to climb out her window, which, unlike mine, is on the second floor.

I said, "What on Earth do you think you're doing, Starr Ann?"

She didn't even bother to look guilty. "I'm about to climb down the ladder of desire, Margo."

Right then is when I realized there was somebody else in the room. Well, not in the room yet. She was outside on the ladder, and when she heard us talking, here she comes tumbling through Starr Ann's window and then she was in the room. It was Lori, Lori Hahn.

Apparently, Lori's new job has gifted her with way too much spare time, and she's been using it to woo Starr Ann. Or brainwash her. Or something.

Anyway, when the situation got all clear for me, I guess they could tell I was a little aggravated. At least Hahn (I'm not calling her Lori anymore. From now on, it's gonna be Hahn - or maybe just Hah - yeah, stripping letters away from her name is kinda satisfying) could tell I was aggravated. Poor Starr Ann was just standing there with a lovesick look on her face and a head full of dreams about Hah's fancy new job where she barely has to work, yet makes about a half a million dollars a week. All Starr Ann could see was spending long lazy days wearing fuzzy slippers and doing Goddess knows what while the kids were at school.

So, Hah says, "Don't try to stop us, Margo."

I said, "I'm gonna tell your girlfriend."

"Already talked to her. She's supportive."

"I'm gonna tell your mom."

"Would you, please? I haven't had the time to call her yet."

Couldn't help it, I said, "I hate you, H." Dropping another letter felt real good.

Lori reached down and tenderly touched the top of my head (that Starr Ann stealer is real tall) and said, "I embrace your hatred, Margo. And I'm anxious to explore it further when Starr Ann and I return from our honeymoon."

I really do detest all that California fake acceptance crap.

I turned to Starr Ann. "What does this mean for The Starr Ann Chronicles, Starr Ann?" My poor girl was just about spewing little heart-shaped things from her eyes, and H had to answer for her.

H said, "The blogging public won't miss out on a thing, Margo. I'll keep everybody informed with my new blog - Starr Ann At Home."

Custom has it that Starr Ann and I talk these things out.

Custom has it that Starr Ann behaves with more sense than this.

Custom also has it that I say April Fools right about now.

Be careful today! Lots of tricks out there.