Sunday, April 27, 2008

Stimulation for Starr Ann

Celia Susan always drops in unexpected. Well, at least I never expect her. Starr Ann usually knows she's on the way, but doesn't bother to clue me in. Anyway, Celia Susan galloping up on Sugar's a vision that never fails to make me smile. Two reasons for that smile. One, you can bet Starr Ann and Celia Susan are up to something subversive. And two, I can depend on company, the good kind, in my room that night. And most of the next day, etc, etc.

Except for the last time Celia Susan visited, late this February. That time, she and Starr Ann were so involved in whatever they were cooking up, they didn't get home from the bunkers until way after daybreak the next morning. And then Celia Susan had to leave right away. That should have gotten my curiosity up, but I just don't tend toward suspicion. Nobody with a lot of doubt DNA could really be Starr Ann's best friend. It just wouldn't work out.

Anyway, yesterday, here comes Sugar trotting up to the barn carrying Celia Susan looking all flushed and everything from the ride. Just the sight of her made me feel extra friendly.

"Here, Celia, let me get Sugar comfortable while you go up to the house. Starr Ann baked a batch of those cookies you like so much." Right then I made a mental note to ask if Celia Susan's on the way next time Starr Ann makes those cookies.

After I got Sugar all settled in with hay and water, I trotted on up to the house. Goddess, I was glad to see Celia, so when I say I trotted, I mean I just about ran.

Well, to make a long story short, Starr Ann and Celia Susan had a little news for me. Seems the February trip had been to lay the groundwork for their most ambitious joint undertaking ever. They said they'd been meaning to tell me, but knew I wasn't exactly going to like what I heard. But now, something had happened that was forcing their hand, and I had to be told before tomorrow.

Yep. You guessed it. Here's how the whole conversation went.

Starr Ann put two cookies and a glass of milk in front of me. "Did you hear the news, Margo? About how the Washington Brain Trust has decided to start sending out its Stimulus Package payments early?"

Celia Susan was looking at me that one way. Or at least I thought it was that one way, so I was kinda off my guard. "Good cookies. No, I hadn't heard that. But neither of you even exists as far as the IRS is concerned, so why should you care about that?"

Starr Ann and Celia exchanged a glance. Celia Susan said, "Well, we exist this year."

Starr Ann added, "In fact, we extra-exist."

"Extra-exist? What'n the world is that?"

"Here, have another." Dang, but Starr Ann was really pushing those cookies.

Celia Susan stood up and started pacing around the room. "Well, Margo, and I want you to keep an open mind about this, Honey, but you see, Starr Ann and I made use of a few-"

Starr Ann cut her off with, "Several."

Celia went on, "Okay, we made use of several social security numbers that weren't going to be busy this year. So guess what?"

Dang. Sweets usually hype me up, but I was getting positively sluggish eating those cookies. "What?"

Starr Ann started rubbing my shoulders, saying, "We'll be getting overstimulated by the stimulus package. Starting tomorrow."

The rest of the night is kinda blurry, even the excellent parts Celia Susan told me about this morning. Sounds like Celia and I crossed over into some new territory. Heh. Really do regret not remembering all that.

Anyway, it's too late to talk them out of it, so I'm just going to help Starr Ann and Celia figure out what to do with all those direct deposits that'll be rolling in from the IRS starting tomorrow. We're sending a bunch of the funds to anti-war groups, some to our favorite local sustainability initiative, and the rest will go into a dummy account Starr Ann set up years ago. We'll eventually funnel that out to nearby people who get hardest hit once this recession starts to bubble full force.

Wish us luck! And even if you're just getting the normal amount of stimulation from the Bushies (blech!), remember to hold onto it until after the Democrats get in office.