Monday, January 5, 2009

Hunted Down Like Blogs! (Part 2)

Last time, a desperate gang of ruthless bloggers hellbent on running all lesbians clear off the Internet had just caught up to Belle-Saige, Sierra-Dawn, Starr Ann and Margo.

Guess we'll never know what tipped them off that we were hunkered down behind those big rocks, but that nasty gang of bad blogger men pulled their horses up short, drew their six shooters and jumped behind another bunch of boulders not far from us. Who'd've thought bullets really do make that zinging sound as they glance off stone right beside your head?

So, first thing we all did was make sure our heads were nowhere near the edges of the boulders.

Sierra-Dawn said, "Margo! Starr Ann! Y'all got some way of summoning The Posse? Sure would be a good time to see all those hot-on-the-trail women kicking up a dust cloud in this direction."

Over those singing bullets and the sound of rock chips hitting the ground, Starr Ann hollered, "Well, we usually just call 'em on the phone, but Margo kinda got...water in the phone this morning."

In the middle of all that ruckus, and all that danger, Belle-Saige still had the critical wherewithal to put her hands on her hips and look at me like she'd known me a couple of decades. "You dropped it in the commode, didn't you?"

Dang! The Posse can use a woman with that kinda intuition! Right about the exact second I was making a mental note to ask both her and Sierra-Dawn if they'd ride in the Posse (given we survived the current difficulties, that is) the shooting stopped.

One thing I never realized before is how extra quiet everything gets right after four six shooters quit firing.

Starr Ann whispered real soft, "They must be out of ammunition."

Belle-Saige whispered, "Either that or they're reloading."

Slow as could be, Sierra-Dawn raised her eyes to the upper part of the biggest boulder we were crouched behind. When her gaze reached the top of it, she said, "Or sneaking up on us and seeing we don't have guns."

We all looked up, and sure enough, there were those bad bloggers, all bellied out on the top of that rock, smiling down at us real unfriendly.

Starr Ann said to me very quietly, almost without even moving her lips, "Bet you anything one of 'em's named Lefty."

The ringleader said, "Well, looky thar, boys. The poor little lesbian bloggers seem to be unarmed." Then they hopped off that rock and tried to stare Sierra-Dawn and Belle-Saige down, but that wasn't gonna happen.

Finally, Starr Ann stepped between them and said, "What's up with you people anyway?"

The leader laughed. "Nothin' much." Then he signaled to one of the other men and said, "Get the laptops out of my saddlebag, Righty."

Righty said, "Sure thing, Jason."

While Righty got the laptops, Jason informed us, "Now, what we're gonna need from you lesbians is your userids and blog passwords. Turn those over nice and sweet, nobody gets hurt." Jason grinned wide from behind his stubbly beard. "See, me and the boys're gonna change up your blogs a little, make ya into decent folk." He pointed his empty gun at Starr Ann. "I think I'll let Tommy over there write up a post on The Starr Ann Chronicles where Starr Ann sees the light and gets herself hooked up with a man, a real man." He thought a second, scratching his jaw the whole time. "You," he looked right at Belle-Saige, "I'm afraid you're going to write a farewell post on Candy Is My Favorite Poison, telling everybody how you've decided to go straight, give up your writing altogether and become a middle manager in the first corporation that meets your monetary demands." Dang, that man had a diabolical laugh, which he gave full rein for a few seconds before telling Sierra-Dawn, "Think we'll have you admit on Let's Be In Life that you never even liked women in the first place." Looking real hard at me, Jason finally said, "Moon, you're not only gonna profess a latent and insatiable attraction for big hunky hairy men, you're going to denounce Tina Fey once and for all."

Sierra-Dawn folded her arms across her chest and spoke for the four of us when she growled, "Not on our lives!"

To Be Concluded

But while you're waiting for the conclusion, why not ride on over to Reef's new blog, wordspinner, and leave a comment so she knows you been there?