Monday, January 5, 2009
Hunted Down Like Blogs!
My best friend Starr Ann (hi, Starr Ann) and I were out for a leisurely ride when the horses got kinda antsy and we all of a sudden saw this old deserted barn in the distance. Closer we got to that old barn, the more surreal things got. By the time we were almost to it, the lighting had gone almost all the way black and white.
Not only that, but a rider off to the West was closing in on us awful fast. Turned out to be a woman who looked real worried about something.
She introduced herself as Belle-Saige and said her horse's name was Blaise. We told her we were real happy to meet her, although the menacing air and Belle-Saige's obvious distress, not to mention the fact that the color had drained right out of everything, made it kinda hard to be all that happy about anything.
It took no time for Belle-Saige to confirm that fear was the appropriate emotion for the moment. Looking over her shoulder in the direction she'd rode in from, she said, "Look, I'm being followed...chased, actually...by some awful bad men."
Starr Ann put on that one tone of voice, the one that makes you feel real calm even when things are tense. "Now, Belle-Saige, why don't you tell Margo and me all about it. Maybe we can help."
Belle-Saige looked startled, and said all fast and snappy, "Margo! Did you say Margo? And what's your name, gorgeous?"
Starr Ann said, "Starr Ann."
Belle-Saige looked even more startled. "Good Goddess! Starr Ann and Margo Moon? From The Starr Ann Chronicles?"
We both nodded.
Belle-Saige started shaking our hands real hard and talking quick, still looking behind her. "It's a pleasure to meet you two, but I sure wish the circumstances were better. I'm M.M. Sugar from Candy Is My Favorite Poison!"
Starr Ann said, "Dang."
I said, "Dang."
Belle-Saige went on to tell us that there was a rotten bunch of male bloggers stampeding all over the place, trying to snuff out lesbian blogs once and for all. That's who was chasing her.
Starr Ann and I said, "Dang!"
Belle-Saige started searching the horizon ahead of us. "We have to ride like we've never rode before, girls! Those ornery cusses can't be far behind me now. In fact, I'm surprised they aren't already on top of us."
Starr Ann and I saddled up and we all took off. Four minutes of hard riding later, we got to worrying the horses needed a rest, so we stopped and ducked behind some huge boulders. Right away, we heard hoofbeats bearing down on us.
Peeping around one of the boulders for a look-see, Belle-Saige said, "Lone rider! And it's a woman!"
Well, that woman would have flown right on past us if Belle-Saige hadn't selflessly jumped out in the open to flag her down. Dang, but bravery is invigorating!
This woman did a fancy dismount while her horse was still on the move. And she had that same anxious look on her face that we all had.
Gulping air like she was drowning, she said, "Bloggers! Bad ones! Right on my tail!"
Once we were all back hidden behind the rocks, Starr Ann somehow managed the soothing voice again to make introductions.
The new rider said, "Very proud to finally meet you all face to face. I'm Sierra-Dawn, known in the lesbian blog universe, or Blesbiaverse as I like to call it, as Rose from Let's Be In Life."
Starr Ann, Belle-Saige and I all three said, "Dang!"
Turns out, Sierra-Dawn was being hounded by the same bad men that were chasing Belle-Saige. While we were all getting acquainted, Sierra-Dawn scouted around the side of those boulders and froze stock still. She whistled through her teeth and said, "Girls, unless there's a dust storm moving in from the exact direction where I last saw those bad bloggers, we got ourselves some trouble. Big trouble."
By the time we all got in position to peek around those rocks, here's what we saw:
All four of us said, "Dang!"
To be continued...