When we were little, Starr Ann wanted to grow up to be a safecracker. Naturally, though, the nuns didn't have a safe, so there wasn't much around to practice on. Until we got big enough to sneak into town, where both the courthouse and the hospital had these Disneyesque vending areas. To Starr Ann's young and ambitious mind, a vending machine was just a safe with food inside instead of money.
Since Sheriff Angela Torrence was usually somewhere around the courthouse, and since Starr Ann and I both crushed on Sheriff Torrence throughout most of our formative years, and getting in trouble with her would have been both exciting and mortifying, we thought it best to hone Starr Ann's vendo-tumbling skills at the hospital. Personally, I think spending all that time over there was one big reason Starr Ann had the flu so much during third grade. Starr Ann insists it was from something that happened between her and Mary Jane Gotlieb in the cloak room a few days before they found out Mary Jane had mono.
Anyway, they haven't really made a vending machine Starr Ann can't defeat. She never actually steals anything, just liberates the snack she wants, then sticks the money in afterward. It's more sport than anything else.
So, the whole reason I got off on all this is to warn you about Oreo Cakesters.
These things look innerestin, but take it from Starr Ann and me: They.Are.Hideous.
