Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Slidey Saddles

Starr Ann never made it to Jodie Diamond's place. Seems she was riding along, with her jeans seam sitting just right, thinking about Ms. Diamond, and Oatmeal stopped short to pick at a green leafy he spotted. Saddle conditions being what they were, Starr Ann hydroplaned right over Oatmeal's head and ended up hugging a tree that happened to be wearing a poison ivy sweater.

Poor Starr Ann. She's covered in Calamine and calling in fake news tips. So far, one local station has actually reported that members of Karl Rove's family are leaving the country in fear of spending more time with him.

Right now she's emailing FOX with the hot lead that Alberto Gonzales wants to fast-track execution by lethal ingestion of Mattel toys on the grounds it's "more humane" and will be "less costly." For authenticity, she's also noting that pharmaceutical companies are fighting the measure.