Starr Ann didn't make it back yesterday and I'll admit I was worried there for a while. I mean, Ms. Jodie Diamond's place is just a twenty-minute ride from here. Make that seventeen or eighteen on Oatmeal.
After letting my mind cook up all kinds of trouble Starr Ann could have gotten herself into, I remembered the bridge. There's a bridge across a creek between here and the Diamond ranch. And although Starr Ann hasn't explicitly said it, I know her well enough to guess that she will not be crossing any bridges. Not in America. So, by my estimate, avoiding the creek crossing, the trip to Jodie Diamond's now takes three and a half hours.
Still, she shoulda been home early this morning. Unless she got word of unusual "chatter" from the terrorists in the White House. Then I heard the news. Terrorist Karl Rove is branching out to his so-called "family" cell. I'm sure Starr Ann took this as a call to mobilize.
Every time al-Bush makes a move like this, you can bet Starr Ann's going to disappear, and in a few days, somewhere in the Kentucky foothills, there'll be a brand new hollow tree stump that's actually a portal to a brand new underground shelter with a generator, enough non-perishable food and potable water to last 3 months, plus two vibrators with enough batteries to last 6 months (the girl has her priorities in a certain order).