Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Cowgirl Oath

There's an old saying that goes "Cowgirls stick together." And if you happen to be lesbian cowgirls, well, that old saying definitely has added dimensions. Heh.
So, you might be asking yourself right about now, "Dang, what can I do to be sticking by my lesbian cowgirl sisters today?"

Here's what you can do: Go to BlogInterviewer and click on the thumbs-up (heh) to vote on Lori Hahn's blog. She is one of our own, and a fantastic, tried and true blogger extraordinaire. She's got a real shot at winning money this month. But we all need to click our heels together and say, wait, that's not it. We all need to use this BlogInterviewer link to vote for Lori EVERY 24 HOURS for the remainder of the month. Vote at home. Vote at work. Vote on your neighbors' computers when they aren't looking. Call your mom and ask her to vote (Lori is an incredible mother). Come on, if cowgirls can't do it, nobody can.

Okay. Starr Ann, Jodie, Celia Susan and I are expecting huge numbers for our Lori girl over the next 13 days. Now, on to today's Chronicles!

Funny how you can know a person almost your whole life and still find out new things about them. Happened with Celia Susan yesterday.

The four of us were just hanging out in the morning, finishing up the easy part of chores. Starr Ann was nosing around, trying to snag a clue about her birthday presents, and we kept making her think she was on to something, then bursting her bubble. You know, just a regular day.

So Celia Susan all of a sudden sighs and says, "Sure would be fun to play croquet this afternoon."

Starr Ann and I exchanged a quizzical glance. Yes, quizzical. What's wrong with that?

Celia got real defensive. She said, "Croquet is unbelievably fun. It's like polo without the ponies."

Starr Ann opened her mouth to speak and I couldn't wait for what was going to come out, when Jodie said, "You know, I love croquet. Haven't had a good game of it in years, though."

Starr Ann and I exchanged a quizzical glance. Jodie moved closer to Celia Susan in one of those come-over-here-so-we-can-really-talk kinda ways. Starr Ann did the same toward me, and she whispered, "Sounds like we're real lucky we don't have any croquet pieces, or whatever you'd call it."

Jodie and Celia Susan both got animated and Celia Susan exclaimed, "Jodie has a croquet set! And she's going to go get it for us!"

All Starr Ann and I could do was gape at these two strangers before us.

Starr Ann finally came up with, "Why not just jog over to the retirement home and borrow theirs? It's a little closer."

Didn't faze those two. They already had the whole thing lined out in their minds.

Jodie said, "Celia Susan and I will fetch the equipment." She pointed to us. "You two stay here and cut the grass real short from," she put sticks at the corners of a big rectangle on the ground, "from here, to here, to here, to here."

They were gone before we knew it. I said, "Maybe we really could think of it like polo without the ponies."

Starr Ann said, "Us womenfolk better get things ready, I think Jodie was serious. You want to cut the grass while I fix food?"

Before they got back, Starr Ann's chase mechanism kicked in. She came outside and had me stop the mower. "Margo, we're going to pair up you and me against them. And somehow we're going to beat them."

I nodded. "That's a given."

"Cowgirl oath?"

I removed my hat and placed it over my heart. Starr Ann did the same.

Starr Ann began, "I swear by all that has been achieved for those of our kind,"

I took up my part, "for all the trails blazed by women like Bell Starr,"

"Annie Oakley,"

"Calamity Jane,"

"Dale Evans,"

"The Dixie Chicks and Tina Fey,"

Starr Ann stopped a second to ask, "Since when did Tina Fey qualify as a cowgirl?"

"Since a recurring dream I have."

Starr Ann continued, "Tina Fey,"

"and every other woman with a cowgirl heart,"

"We swear we will do all in our power to win this ungodly game today."

We ended by intoning solemnly, "Yee haa."

And then we bumped our hats together. It was done. We would be fierce warriors on the croquet court. Later, we learned it was a croquet field, but that's minor.

So that's how four able-bodied cowgirls ended up playing croquet all day. Thing was, though, it was pretty fun. Weird, huh?

Who won? Jodie and Celia Susan wiped up the damn field
with us. But that's the thing about the cowgirl oath. All it requires is doing your best. And we did our best. They were just the better women at playing a stupid game where you take sticks and hit balls that day, that's all. No big deal.