Monday, October 8, 2007

Sixty-Nine Ways To Make A Cowgirl Smile - Numbers 31-40

My best friend Starr Ann (hi, Starr Ann) and I are really enjoying the field testing required to verify that all these ways to make a cowgirl smile do, indeed, work. We also want to make it very clear that they are, for the most part, environmentally friendly and require little money to maintain. Please feel free to try these at home. Or in the car. Or in the barn. Or on the kitchen table. Or in the woods. Or on the floor.
[The First Ten]

31. Be real glad to see her.

32. Swoop her up on your pony and RIDE!

33. Show her how to make Wintergreen lifesavers spark in the dark.

34. Call her up and ask what she's wearing. She will laugh at you at first, but do not be swayed. Ask her again, and be serious about it. Rinse. Repeat until she gets the message and tells you what she has on. If your relationship permits, do enjoy some phone sex. If it does not, enjoy a good laugh with her and hang up. Then do what you gotta do.

35. Learn her favorite song, and sing it to her. On key or off, won't make a bit of difference.

36. Don't carry a cell phone.

37. When she recommends a book, let her know if you read it.

38. Sleep with her outside in the tent.

39. Call her bluff, but first be real sure it was a bluff.

40. Admire her pickup truck.