Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Cowgirls (Especially A Certain One) Can Be Jerks

Starr Ann is such a creep.

She has two things going that are about to drive me crazy. First, she's decided that as the final year of the Terror Administration's rule approaches, the danger, embarrassment and disgust in this country and the world is going to multiply exponentially. So, of course, she intends to tighten her own security measures.

One of the things that means is more spyware, firewalls and virus protection on my computer. Remember, Starr Ann chooses to have no online (or any traceable) identity, so she uses all my accounts and passwords - and we just have the one computer. Well, her security measures are getting out of hand. To write this post so far has taken over an hour. Every time I get going, some scan pops up and sucks away at the computer's thinking ability. And I have to sit here waiting for it to finish. I could just strangle her. And take a look at this...

Starr Ann put this up right over my monitor and the sad part is, she isn't joking. Even sadder part is, here's what she took down...

Is that proof positive that Starr Ann has lost it or not?

Then Jodie shows up looking entirely spent. I have never seen Jodie this used up. Which brings us to the second item on Starr Ann's agenda these days - finding out what she's getting for her birthday. According to Jodie, they were 'exploring a few new sexual avenues' and Starr Ann whispered to Jodie that her safe word would be naming the present I'm getting Starr Ann this year.

I was just a tiny bit startled and said, "Not funny." Jodie just shrugged. Then I said, "Don't want any details, but if any of those avenues involve spanking, give Starr Ann a real good one, will you?"

Jodie kinda drifted off a few seconds, but I don't know her well enough to read her silences yet, so I can't tell you where she went.

Anyway, we decided to play a nice game of Club Topsy-Turvy, but as soon as the thing started loading, guess what happened? Yep. Virus scan!

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Starr Ann just has to have every single security software icon sitting on the desktop 'in case she needs something real quick.' So now the beautiful background I just put up... almost totally obscured.

Jodie and I were so aggravated, we disabled every bit of Starr Ann's security mess, initiated a fake email account in the name of 'FriendOrFoe' and sent a cryptic email to our main account. Then we put all the security back in place. We cannot wait for Starr Ann to discover the breach.

And if that seems mean, too bad. Starr Ann knew I was riled up before she left today and she still brought up her old standby remark that she knows irks me even more. When I get so mad at her that I start ranting and rambling, she likes to smirk and say she's afraid I have a latent, sporadic form of adult ADD. She knows that makes me even more angry, because I definitely do not have ADD! It makes my blood boil just thinking of it and