Sunday, October 21, 2007

Funny How Some People Like To Gossip

Celia Susan galloped off into the sunrise this morning and we'll miss her like crazy. But sleeping again will be good.

Gosh, I didn't realize how much I'd missed all week, with my attention so focused on Celia Susan.

Starr Ann tells me Randy Sneed finally let himself get roped into getting married to Mona Floge. Starr Ann said, "Good thing Mona isn't the liberated type who'd be tempted to hyphenate her name. She'd sound just like bronchial trouble."

And for sure Mona is not your liberated woman. Been after Randy since they got out of high school and she lost all that weight and he started taking her out once in a while. Mona aspires to be Stepford.

Starr Ann predicts Randy'll be growing himself one of those man-bellies, what with the regular like clockwork sex at first, the well-stocked refrigerator, and a woman who cooks.

Starr Ann said, "Maybe I'll document the blooming of Randy's belly, from flat like now, to basketball size probably by June, right on through to beach ball next Christmas."

Jodie made a face. "Why in the world would you photograph anything so disgusting?"

Starr Ann just shrugged and said, "Art, Jodie. With my photography, I venture beyond life's beauty sometime."

Heh. I didn't know Jodie ever rolled her eyes, but she sure did right then.

I thought I should give Starr Ann a little support. "Yeah, Jodie, Starr Ann's most successful work was her roadkill series. Very popular."

"You two are joking."

We raised our right hands in unison. "Cowgirl honor."

"Shit fire and save the matches! You actually photographed roadkill?"

Starr Ann nodded. "Sold a full-color four-part display to the diner over in Gravel Switch."

I'm so proud of Starr Ann's successes. I said, "Sure did. If you want to ride over there for breakfast some morning, we can show you, Jodie."

Jodie was kinda dazed looking. "Eating eggs. Roadkill photos. Diner in a one-horse town."

Starr Ann shook her head vehemently. "Nobody over in Gravel Switch has a horse."

Never seen Jodie quite this exercised. I'm not at all sure she's going to be one hundred percent behind Starr Ann's artwork. She said, kinda fast, "No-horse town then. Jesus Christ! Well, then, documenting the development of Randy's man-belly is going to be quite the aesthetic step up, isn't it?"

Time for a subject change. Stat. I asked, "So, what else did I miss around here while Celia Susan had my attention?"

Jodie said there's a rumor we're getting a brand new neighbor. Single mom from California. 'Sposed to have teenagers.

Starr Ann said it's more than a rumor. She heard over at the tack shop that this California woman bought the old Runny Nose place on the other side of our Happy Hands Ranch, about as far West as Jodie's place is East. Then Starr Ann stopped by the softball field two afternoons ago and somebody told her this woman is a lesbian. Everybody expects her to be kinda hoity-toity because somebody says she has a maid back there in California.

I said, "Hmm. Gonna be living mighty close to us. Anybody get this woman's name yet?"

Starr Ann said, "Something like Goldie Hawn, or Honey Bun, or Lorrie Honn. I'm not real sure."

Guess we'll find out soon enough, though, because Jodie said she heard the woman's due here sometime this week. Should be innerestin.

Starr Ann agreed it should be, but really, she was already absorbed with cleaning her lenses and checking her camera batteries. She said, "People sure like to gossip, don't they? Now, Jodie, we're going into town and intercept Randy as he leaves church. What I want you to do is get him to talking and maneuver him around so's I can get a good profile of his belly. We need a "before" shot. I hear the wedding is next week, so time is of the essence."